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Friday, November 11, 2011

How To Be A Good Man For Her


Fellas, if you do these things, any good woman will reciprocate. Ladies, if a man has never done these things, ask yourself what it is that you bring to the table if it's all good then he needs to step it up! Men AND women, set high standards for yourself and for your mate.

  • Be Honest - In order to be truthful with someone, you must first be honest with yourself. The human mind is built to rationalize lies as well as things that may be to difficult to deal with. This is a coping mechanism. A man has to own his insecurities and shed his fear of opening up. Be real AT ALLTIMES! 
  • Be Selfless - Our society is male-centric. Our system of marriage, women taking our name, being named first on legal documents, earning more in the workplace, etc are all examples. In addition, women are conditioned from a young age how to cater to a man and take care of a family. Think EZ Bake Ovens and the little dollies that pee. Break it down to our anatomy. Men's sex organs hang free. Women's are inside. In order to procreate, a man must enter a woman. This act is powerful. A man is doing something and a woman is having something done to her. This can lead a woman to think that she needs man to be fulfilled and lead a man to feel power from this. Don't fall for the okie doke! Don't be that guy. You have to train yourself to include other factors besides your own opinion when making decisions for the two of you.
  • Keep Your Word - A woman's trust is one of the most precious things in this world. Too many times it is betrayed. Two of the worst feelings in the world are being stood up and let down. You don't want to do that to a woman. It could be something as small as picking something up from the store or recording one of her shows on DVR for her but if you say you're going to do something then by God you better do it!
  • Protect Her - I don't just mean protect her physically either. That's easy. Don't put her in precarious situations. Don't bring a lot of men around her. You can't trust your friends alone with your woman. Trust me on this! Eliminate the possibility for dangerous situations to arise. Don't let your boys badmouth her either. Let her KNOW that you've got her back in any situation. If she's wrong then you pull her aside and let her know but not in front of mixed company. Protect her pride and dignity as well.
  • Don't Fear Change - Change is inevitable. Growth is optional. In order for you to grow, you must change for the better. There is no way around it. A lot of times guys are hesitant to commit and/or thoughts of the future send chills. This is just FEAR. Man up and don't run from responsibility. If she's a good woman and is down for you then keep her! Set goals to grow together.
  • Know Her - You should know her mannerisms, her voice inflections, when and why it changes, her shoe size in sneakers, her shoe size in pumps, favorite food, drink, her sense of humor and her family members names. Know her birthday. Know your anniversary. Know the things that are important to her. Know what she's passionate about. Know her hot spots, what turns her on, how she likes it, when she likes it, where she likes it and how/when/where she doesn't like it. This way, even when you disagree, you can always acknowledge and respect what is important to her so that you don't have to fight. And even if you do, you can have great make-up sex!
  • Be Proactive/Thoughtful - If you see leaves in the yard, rake them. If a door hinge is squeeky, grab the WD-40. If you notice that the porch light went out, get a new bulb. If you see that her car is dirty, wash it for her. Don't wait for her to ask you. If you know that she's had a rough week, make reservations at her favorite restaurant or better yet, cook a nice meal at home so that she doesn't have to. Buy her a new pair of shoes. Pay one of HER bills outside of your mutual household bills. Men aren't the most intuitive creatures by nature but we are capable of being in tune with our woman's wants and needs. Be THAT guy!
  • Have Pride/Integrity - Be distinguished. Be a good steward. Take care of your belongings. Always look presentable. Dress nicely. Take care of yourself. Have good hygiene. Work hard to be good at your job. Take pride in your ability to provide. Be ambitious, but not merely self motivated. Want more for her, for your family. Build a legacy that your children and grandchildren can be proud of. Give them a sense of identity.
  • Be Decisive - Women HATE a wishy washy man. If you know what she likes, order for her. Don't even include her in decision making as long as you can handle it without her unless it involves a lot of money, her friends, her family, her coworkers, or anything else directly involving her. What I am saying is that women like men who make decisions and don't defer. 
  • Take Care Of Her First - I touched on being selfless earlier. In this case I'm talking about taking care of her in the bedroom. If she's already in the mood and is the aggressor then skip the precedings and get it in by all means! But, if you're in the mood and she's not on the same page with you at first, make sure to get her there by any means necessary. Kiss, touch, tease, taste, lick, massage, tickle, etc Foreplay is essential! Ten or fifteen minutes is well worth it. You won't have to be a marathon man in the sack if she has her first orgasm from foreplay. You can give her the best 10-15 minutes of sex that you've got and she'll still keep a smile on her face! lol
 Raphael Saadiq - Good Man


  1. Wreck, you really need to publish this! Straight up. Mad respect!

  2. Desktop publishing son! Thanks man.